Journal Entry: Tue Apr 22, 2014, 11:23 PM
What would you do if you had a friend that you knew was in a bad relationship? Try to talk them out of it? That it's not healthy for them whatsoever? Hope that they figure it out themselves and just be there for them?
What would you do if your friend wasn't actually in a relationship with this person anymore, but they constantly stayed with the one they had been in a relationship with at one point but is still going back to this person because they hope things will work out better than the first time or because they think that is the best they can do?
My friend was in a relationship with this guy for about 3 years. And it was utter hell on her. Honestly, at least, and I mean at least 3 times a week, they would have a fight and she would come to me and tell me about what happened but how it was "my fault", "I made him angry so I don't blame him", or "he's not serious when he says "(insert cruel words or threats here) to me." The one week, it was one fight every day to which would leave her in tears. Eventually her family and some friends started to tell her that she had to make a choice; them or him. I sat with her for 5 hours that night telling her that this was destructive, this was unhealthy, this was wrong, that she pretty much is a poster girl for Stockholm Syndrome because of him, and that she needed to get away. She finally broke it off with him and moved out on her own. Got her own house, has a pet, she's even got set up to go into therapy. I thought that this maybe, hopefully, was finally the end of it.
However after a month she felt the need to be back with him because 'they still loved each other', 'he's a great guy' and the other typical lines. So throughout the year, she's sent me a few messages, telling me how things have been going and things have just gotten so much worse every time the two of them are near each other, and each time I tell her that she needs to stay away, she agrees, said she can't stay around the negative energy....and then right back to square one once more.
Tonight I got another message, and was talking to her for about 2 hours. She once more is saying that they had a huge fight. I almost lost it on her because so far the gentle talking, the coaxing, the supportive talk has not seemed to help. I told her flat out that she HAS to stay away from him and that one day those threats will no longer be threats and he WILL hurt her and numerous other things. She's once more said that she knows I am right, that she is going to stay away from him (again) and so forth and that she will stay away from him here on out...again... I am having a very hard time believing that this will be the time it all finally sets in.
So what would you do folks? Have you ever been through anything like this with a friend? What would you do to try and help your friend?
Now that I think sleep has been ruined for me, I might as well stay up and watch Attack On Titan or something...oi...
Listening to: Reluctant Heroes - Attack On Titan OST
Watching: Attack On Titan